Tuesday, January 27, 2009

How To Get Rich Quick!

No, it's not a scam.
You're heard it first!

Last Saturday's Lotto 649 Jackpot was $44 million. Now imagine winning that.

The odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 13,983,816 (49*48*47*46*45*44)/(!6).

If the jackpot is higher than the odds, why not buy the lottery?

Here is my proposal.
Say each ticket costs 5 seconds to generate and $27 967 632 dollars. To generate all the possibilities, it would take 69 919 080 seconds or 1 165 318 minutes or 19 422 hours.

Say each processing day has 15 hours (8 am till 11pm for those late convenience stores and time for lunch).

If the lottery is played on Saturday, you'll have 42 hours to submit your entries. (15 + 15 + 12)
If the lottery is played on Wednesday, you'll have 57 hours to submit your entries. (15 + 15 + 15 + 12)

You'll need to hire 341 people whom will each process 41 000 tickets in that given time span.

When you buy the lottery, the pool prize would increase by $13 144 787 and the jackpot would increase by $5 257 915.

This is the breakdown:
+$44 451 939 actual jackpot winnings
+$5 257 915 increase in jackpot pool because of your contribution.
+$7 886 872 because of tiered winnings
+ 10 000 because of last place winnings
-$27 967 632 cost of tickets.

Gain: $29 639 094 / 341 shares = $86 918 a person!!

The rules doesn't say you can't buy the lottery. All you need is 340 trust-worthy friends.

Note: If you plan to do this, make sure the ticket seller has enough paper rolls and ink. Remember, you're racing against time to submit your tickets.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Canada Post

So I went to the post office today to send a letter to a relative in Hong Kong in-time for Chinese New Year.

The post-woman asked: "What does your envelope contain? It seems a little bulky."
My Reply: "A simple card with pop-out lettering"

PW: "Did you know it is illegal to send money overseas?"
My Reply: "WHAT?!"

PW: "That will be $4.10. Thank you."
My Reply: "WHAT?!"

Clearly I wasn't in the business of anti-money laundering.

Anyways, I hate Canada Post and how they operate. The union is dumb and so is the management which costs the tax payers too much.

To send mail from Canada to Hong Kong, it costs me $4.10 via Canada Post.
To send mail from Hong Kong to Canada, it costs me only $0.39 CAD via Hong Kong Post.
10.5 times the cost because of the f*n unions.

With the price of oil floating around $40 pb, or declined 74% since the high of $147 pb, Canada Post still charges a minimum of 4.5% Fuel Surcharge on their parcel deliveries.

Did you know the price of a local stamp has gone up (again) by two cents to $0.54?! We're in a freak'n recession!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Rogers Wireless Marketing for the Asians

If you're Asian and you own a GSM cell phone, Rogers Marketing has a clever deal for you.

It's attractive because it has the number eight!!!!

It's called the "98 Talk Asia Saver". This includes 98 long distance minutes (not rounded to 100) to China/Hong Kong, for $8 a month. Ofcourse, any overage use is only 8 cents a minute.

...and if you order now, Rogers will add an additional 98 minutes to your first month! wow!

...but if you're a moron and purchased this without doing the math, your monthly rate is higher than your overage rate. $8/98 is 8.2 cents a minute!

But it's okay.. because it has the number eight.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Oh Canada?

I'm ashamed to hear this..

Canada stood alone before a United Nations human rights council yesterday, the only one among 47 nations to oppose a motion condemning the Israeli military offensive in Gaza.

The vote before the Geneva-based body shows the Stephen Harper government has abandoned a more even-handed approach to the Middle East in favour of unalloyed support of Israel, according to some long-time observers.

Thirty-three countries voted for the strongly worded motion, which called for an investigation into "grave" human rights violations by Israeli forces, while 13 nations, mostly European, abstained.

Along with Arab states, countries backing the resolution included Russia, China and Brazil. Among those abstaining were Britain, France, Japan and South Korea.

The council itself has faced accusations it is biased against Israel. The U.S., arguing the council's credibility has been undermined, has declined to be a member.

The United States, regarded as Israel's greatest ally, is not a member of the council.

Sure, the United States doesn't have a seat on the UN Human Rights Council but why should Canada sleep with the US through Israel?!

The Council's objective should be simple: stop any offensive violence violating human rights.

Checkout this link. Youtube: CNN Confirms Israel Broke Ceasefire First

Sunday, January 4, 2009


Food Network Canada has a new show featuring a Chinese "chef" cooking Chinese dishes in China. Kylie Kwong: My China.

The show follows Kylie Kwong in China where she goes city to city taking over residential kitchens, restaurants or street food carts and showing the Western World how to cook Chinese food.

What is disturbing is the fact that Kylie Kwong, a visible Chinese/Australian cooking Chinese dishes, does NOT SPEAK Mandarin or Cantonese! How can you have a show titled "My China" if you can not speak the national language. Fraud!

She walks around the country flashing her $100RMB/$20CAD in understanding that money will communicate her needs. Very insulting.

Occasionally on the show, she hires a local English speaking guide/translator to explain the Chinese delicacies. like and including the ever popular Xiao Long Bao.

by Mr. Ed